‘Twas the night before Christmas
And through most of the town
You had to boil the water.
At least there was none on the ground.
The councillors were nestled all snug in their beds
While 2023 budget agendas danced in their heads.
The moon on the crest of the new fallen snow
Reminded them next day would be five degrees above.
Jess in her kerchief and the mayor in his cap
Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.
When on Old Hedley Road there arose such a clatter.
Spencer sprang from his bed to see what was the matter.
When what did his wondering eyes should appear
But seven tiny mulies and one white tail deer.
As quickly as Spencer could turn around
Down the chimney Santa Claus came with a bound.
His eyes how they twinkled, his dimples how merry.
But Spencer stepped back, his own face was wary.
“You show up every year, and what do you do?
Do you have any idea of what we’ve been through?”
The elf shook his head, and said it was tragic.
“There’s a limit, you know, to even my magic.
It’s been worse and it’s been wetter.
Just trust me I know it’s going to get better.”
Then into his pocket he thrust a gloved fist
And pulled out a scroll, a very long list.
“You’ve got millions of dollars and yes you need more.
“You made it through the election; it was even a snore.
The traffic lights work, no longer make drivers crazy.
And you can’t say the Posse has exactly been lazy.
Your works crew, your office staff, are truly the best.
They deserve, each one, a nice holiday rest.
The wells – well, well, well – they are now being drilled.
So soon that stocking is going to be filled.”
Santa straightened his hat, said: “I’ve got to fly.
Supposed to stop in Hedley and can’t imagine why.”
Then laying a finger aside of his nose,
Up the chimney St. Nicholas rose.
He was heard to exclaim, as he rode out of sight,
“Merry Christmas Princeton, you are doing alright.”
– The Similkameen Spotlight, with a little help from Clement Clarke Moore
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