Women: Don’t feel like you have to smile

Hey, why don’t you smile?

Those of the male persuasion, answer this question honestly. Has anyone come up to you, ever, in a work setting, or at a social gathering, and told you that if you smiled you would look better (i.e. prettier, more pleasing for others to behold, possibly less mean?)

Somebody told me once I look mean when I don’t smile. No apologies. The face just came this way.

Men don’t get asked to smile, presumably because it’s understood they are adults in charge of their own thoughts, feelings and facial expressions, and golly gee if a guy wants to turn that frown upside down, he would do it of his own accord.

Please? Just a little smile? You are so cute when you smile.

Cute is an excellent descriptor for infant clothing and miniature dogs.

Social and cultural pressures require girls and women to smile more than boys and men. A woman with a smile on her face (even a coerced one) is liable to be viewed as non-threatening, okay with the status quo, and perhaps not to be taken seriously.

The female smile in politics is a lose-lose.

Any woman running for office either smiles too much, or doesn’t smile enough, depending on the commentator. Either way, it is an important issue.

Certainly, some women smile simply because they are happy. Science tell us that genuine good feelings produce endorphins, and neuronal signals shoot off to the facial muscles telling them to form a smile. The smile sends back a note to the brain, which strokes our reward system and produces more endorphins.

This explains why a woman might smile while rereading a passage from a favourite book, or after just scoring the winning goal in a hockey game, but appear more studious when analyzing data in a spreadsheet, or reflecting on the difficulties of a friend.

Non-gender related trivia: The 2022 World Happiness Report, produced by the United Nations, ranks the happiest countries and Canada is 15 out of 149, just one spot ahead of the United States.

Finland, now that’s the place to be. For the fifth year in a row, Finland has been named the happiest country in the world, and that is credited to its superlative education system coupled with the popularity of winter swimming.

Hey, why don’t you smile?

Hey, why don’t you mind your own business?

My favourite why-isn’t-she-smiling story involves one of the founders of Princeton.

Susan Louisa Moira became the second wife of John Fall Allison in 1868.

There’s a mural of her on the front of the Princeton Legion, created by Marilyn Huycke, in the centre of downtown.

When that painting was hung, some men actually complained that Susan wasn’t smiling. Come on Susie, show us some dimples.

The portrait is based on a well-known photograph of Allison, a pioneer responsible for establishing relationships with Indigenous peoples, a healer and midwife, and an accomplished published writer and historian who was named by the Government of Canada in 2010 as a person of national historic significance.

I don’t know why she isn’t smiling.

It’s been said she was self-conscious about her teeth. However, she also birthed and raised 14 children so maybe she was just tired that day.

Anyhow, every time I walk by her mural I think about her accomplishments and contributions to our valley, and I smile.

Do you have something to add to this story, or something else we should report on? Email:andrea.demeer@similkameenspotlight.com